Saturday, July 30, 2011

Makes me think...

Came across this and it caused me to think...

Preparation for the Second Coming
Dallin H Oaks April 2004

"What if the day of His coming were tomorrow? If we knew that we would meet the Lord tomorrow—through our premature death or through His unexpected coming—what would we do today? What confessions would we make? What practices would we discontinue? What accounts would we settle? What forgivenesses would we extend? What testimonies would we bear?"

I wish my replies could be
What confessions? None, I've made them.
Discontinued practices? None, I've stopped them.
Accounts to settle? None, I've settled them.
Forgiveness to extend? None, I've forgiven.
Testimonies to bear? None. I never hesitated.

But alas I am human... Lucky for me I'm a human with a Savior who can help me get to the point that my answers can be these. Thank goodness He's patient with me.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Dear Utah Football:

Dear Utah Football:
So... Hi! Um... I have to admit I'm a bit embarrassed to be writing you again. After last time I can't imagine you thought you'd be hearing from me again. But... well yesterday I saw this video...

And well after watching that... I just... okay I'll just say it. All my old feelings came flooding back! I could feel the excitement that comes from waiting in the stands hours before kick off for the first game! I remembered standing in the rain soaked to the bone and loving every minute of it. A smile came to my face and it wouldn't leave!
I don't know what I was thinking before... Maybe I wasn't. I was judging everything on how I felt about the '10 season. And let's face it, I really only was around for half of it and still kind of trying to figure things out.
But I no longer want that gap to be between us! I'm so sorry! I should have never thought my feelings had changed! I feel just terrible. I hope you wont hold this against me. I promise I still remained faithful to you! I never once looked at another team! I would never!
I'm so proud of you for being apart of the PAC-12 I'm going to be there for your first game in the PAC-12! That's right! I'll be there to support you through this new adventure. Maybe we can think of it as a new start for us. Not that the MWC days weren't good. If it weren't for the BCS busting I doubt we'd be here today!
So I hope you'll accept this letter as a plea for your forgiveness and acceptance back into the football freak that I am. I guess I just suppressed it a whole lot better than I thought. But again after watching the video above, I just couldn't stop saying. "I love Utah Football!!" Okay now I'm blushing...

You're devoted fan.

Go Utes!

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Always reminded...

You know what is not fun. Thinking about myself. I hate it in fact. I miss the mission.

So as one might tell I have been thinking about myself a lot. It's forced upon me in some ways. But you know I just am done. Done done done! It's such a waste of time at this point. I think too much I find. So what's been replaying in my head over and over and over?

This quote.

“Dear Gordon, I have your recent letter. I have only one suggestion: forget yourself and go to work.” -pres. Hinckley's father.

This quote came to mind many times while serving my mission since that is when Pres. Hinckley received this advice. But you know I want to continue to apply it now.

So here I go.
"Dear Cami, I have your recent prayer. I have only one suggestion: forget yourself and go to work. Love, your Father in Heaven."

So that's what I shall do.

Friday, July 22, 2011

July 2012

Dear Cami-erin:

First off don't be allarmed that you're hearing from me. Well hearing from you. I know it's hard to understand but I felt that you could use this little pick me up through this time.
You know how things don't always makes sense when they are happening. Like why you could not find a job for a whole year after gradutation from the U? Or why you lost your job that you loved? Or why you didn't end up moving to New York all those years ago? But then as time passes it all seems to fall into place and you're so grateful it has?
Well this is why I'm writing you. I want you to know that this, this that your going through will too all fall into place. You've been thinking a lot about that scripture in Doctrine and Covenants 90:24 "Search diligently, pray always, and be believing, and all things shall work together for your good, if ye walk uprightly and remember the covenant wherewith ye have covenanted one with another." You know this is true. I know you do. I and know as you know that it's hard while in the moment to hold onto this truth. Especially to trust in the Lord when he's prompting you to do things that are so against what you feel you should do. Things that are making you face your fears and trust in him more and more each day. I know it's hard for you now.
But just like all those other times that it was really really hard and you didn't know what to do and you couldn't see how life would turn out. Well I can tell you that this is just like any other time. Just like all those other times that you are unsure and hope for things and want things, but in the end the Lord molds, creates, forms, navigates you on a path that is truly prepared for you. But remember you've got to keep moving forward ortherwise nothing will turn out.
So I guess this is just a small something to encourage you to keep going. And I know it's not easy to keep that mindset, our natural reactions can be pretty strong. But just keep fighting them off. You'll win in the end.
Trust me. I know.

Yours truly,
July 2012

Monday, July 18, 2011

R.O.A.D. Trip.

R is for Reunion. This road trip was to go celebrate my mission presidents completing their service to the Lord.
This is Allie and I waiting in who knows where for our turn on the highway shut down to a one lane road.
Best quote from the drive down.
Jesse, 23 yr old Male whom also served with us.
"My Dad asked if I was going to cut my hair(he has a mullet) and shave. I said "No." I'm an adult! I can do what I want!" This was repeated many times over the 72 hours we were together whenever someone made a really stupid decision.
Brian and I decided since we were at the temple together we might as well elope! ... For about a minute while we took this picture.

Weird memory for day two: Standing by a pool in my swimming suit talking with 5 former Elders in their swimming suits.... Things were a bit different last time we were all together...

O is for Hugs! You know like X's and O's :) I got to give my mission president a great big hug! The moment they walked into the chapel we all jumped up and ran over to them! Instantly there was a line of 30 some odd 20-year-olds resembling children waiting in line to see Santa. 
It felt so right to be sitting in the chapel listening to the awesome testimonies of my mission president and his wife. I'm so honored I got to serve with them and watch and learn from their example.

This is Brooke and I just chilling at President's house...

The hardest part of the trip was when Sis. Smith said 'I've missed you so much. I just want to sit down and talk with you...' Having to tell her I had to get in my car and drive 10 hours to get home and go to work the next morning was not something I wanted to do. I wanted nothing more than to curl up on the couch with her and talk for hours... One day.

A is for Adventure
Well we're on the road cruising, knowing that we were going to get home around 2:00 am (I had to be to work at 7:00) Then all the sudden... This.
Highlight from this though... Jesse putting on my Rollerblades and going up the highway and then flying past us 10 minutes later. I was laughing hysterically.
Now on to the adventurous part.
They made us turn around on the highway, we're not sure if they made us but people were and we couldn't see why it was closed so we did as everyone else did. Then we were directed to an exit that put us going back south...well we sure as heck didn't want to go south. We ended up stopping some people and got directions to go up this random road and we were told it would turn into a dirt road and to take two lefts then we would get into Flagstaff...Um...okay.
Well we took it. After some time we weren't finding the dirt road and we were headed in the wrong direction. Allie voiced concern. They already knew I was nervous. So we stopped. Jesse pointed out the this road wasn't going to no where so we should just see where it goes and then figure it out then. The thought came to mind, to trust the priesthood holder. Allie and I were both thinking too much. So we start driving again and around the curve in the road not 50 yards ahead of us was the dirt road. Followed by a sign leading us towards a state road.
Allie and I found it very funny that we stopped right out of site of the dirt road. Allie and I laughed and reflected on how maybe in life we panic or get scared or question just that much too soon. Just right before something is revealed.
What we gained from this very bizarre detour was a beautiful drive through the mountains in Arizona. We saw the sun setting on these beautiful small lakes with trees all around. It was breathtaking.

D is for DEAD tired!
I got home at 4:15 this morning... My alarm went off at 6:00 so that I could be to work at 7:00... I calculated that I only got a total of maybe 9 hours over the past 72 hours.... Yes I'm shaking a bit and a bit wobbly... Good thing I'm sitting down at work.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Things I can't resist...

Here are just a few things I simply cannot resist...

Dark Chocolate...No reason to resist this, it's good for you!
An opportunity to go up to my cabin... heaven on earth.
Responding to a 2 and half year old with her little palm open beckoning me while saying "Come on Cam." So matter of fact-ly, like why wouldn't you want to come?... Oh, okay!
The request of a family member of friend in need...
Belting at the top of my lungs while show tunes play in my car...
Acting like a child while at Disneyland...
Buying red things... I love red!
Trying on Diamonds at my Uncles store...
Performing... I tell myself I am worn out and want a break, then I find myself longing to be in another show.
Serving my father in heaven...I've learned from experience I can't pass this up, even though I might not want to at first.

Monday, July 4, 2011

Flour and Salt

I was talking with a friend the other day about how difficult it is to hold onto revelation. I suddenly thought of cookies... bear with me. You know how when you're making cookies and you have like, a pound of flour and only a teaspoon of salt? Okay so it's not a pound, but this was a visual I had.
This big bowl, and in it is a pound of flour(okay so it's a really big bowl!) and then a teaspoon of salt.
Salt=personal revelation
flour= lies from the adversary/natural thoughts/distractions/fear
The salt is way way out numbered. But this is how I feel it can be sometimes. Well it is for me at least. I receive this personal revelation from a loving Father in Heaven and then within, a day, week, two weeks, an hour, a pound of flour can be dumped on it and it's pretty dang hard to find those tiny granules of salt again.
But I know they are there. I can't deny it. As hard as it is to see them clearly, I know they are in there. I desperately wish the salt was died purple, or that they were huge pieces of sea salt, or somehow all the tiny pieces stuck together. That would be easier. But I guess it's not about being easy huh?
I could take the time to go through all the flour to make sure that the salt was still there. But then I realize that's silly, I know it's there. No matter how much flour gets put on top or mixed in with that bit of salt. I know it's there. Where would it have gone? It's not like it would be absorbed by the flour. It can't change the salt at all. The salt is still and will be what it is. The only thing that could change it, would be my perception. I sure as heck can't see the salt anymore, so what now? Should I just believe my eyes and tell myself it's not in there anymore? That doesn't make sense... it is in there. It was there first.
I just can't forget. Because then all I'd have is a pound of flour... What good is that going to do me?