Saturday, April 28, 2012

Singlehood Saturday: "I can't imagine what that would be like."

Tune in each Saturday for random stories from my single life.
The good, the bad, and the cute.

"I can't imagine what that would be like."

I was visiting with a very dear friend of mine last week. I am truly grateful for her and the friendship that we have. So we were 'catching up' and talking about our lives. After some discussion she says "Wow. I cannot even relate to you at all. I have no idea what it feels like to be single for so long. These 7 years I've been married you've been single." I did not take offense. She's right. She cannot fully understand. And in turn I cannot fully understand many of the things she's gone through. So since it's singlehood saturday, here's a glimpse into what it's been like for me to be single the past ten years.

18 - you just want a boyfriend because it looks fun. You're alone, but have lots of friends.
19 - you realize that a boyfriend would lead to marriage and that scares you. You're alone and think it's better.
20 - you're able to skip off and move to another country without confronting anyone because there's really nothing keeping you here. You're alone and begin to feel lonely at times.
21 - you realize you maybe should start looking into this dating thing but at the same time you start going on lots of fun road trips with your friends and loving freedom. You're alone, but loving it.
22 - you recognize that finding someone worth dating is harder than it looks so you amerce yourself in football. Football. And more football. Oh and road trips to football games. You're still alone and still loving it, but still something makes you want to find someone.
23 - you graduate, realize life is starting and you're on your own to figure it out. It sucks. Sure your options are WIDE open, but sometimes a guide would be nice. You're alone, and it's hard, and it hurts, and it's scary.
24 - you receive hope and hold onto it. Dating life still is non-existent but being single gives you plenty of time to serve others and spend time with those you love. You're alone, but finally realize you in fact cannot do this alone.
25 - you decide to give up what you want for a while and give your time to God. You're alone, working with the Lord.
26 - you find out where you really stand and what you really stand for and pray that someone will support you in that. You're alone, no longer wanting to do it alone, but really good at living life alone.
27 - you want to continue to progress in life so you go back to school and realize you've found a new passion in life. At the same time you finally begin dating on a consistent basis. You're still alone, admitting that it's not the best way to do things, but you do your best at all the things.
28 -

I'm about to turn 28. I have been alone for a few years. I do not in any way regret my life. I am proud of whom I've been able to become. Has it been lonely? Yes. Has it been hard? Yes. Have I made it worth it? Yes. I think so.
I think the trick is to take what life throws at you and make it something to help progress you forward in life. My motto is "If you're not progressing, you're not happy."

And then sometimes when you're at your wits end with school and work and life and beyond stressed you ask God for help to get you through. And he sends you C.K. :) A cute boy that likes to spend time with you and somehow has the ability to take the stress away. Who knew that adding someone to your life would make it less stressful... You're still not sure where it will all lead but you're grateful for it right now.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Singlehood Saturday: Top 10 list of what NOT to say.

Tune in each Saturday for random stories from my single life.
The good, the bad, and the cute.

Top 10 List of what NOT to say
(on dates with me)

10. "I'm a consumer. I have to have all the newest things."
9. "I always have to be right."
8. "How about you just plan the date."
7. "I don't really like Disneyland. It's really not that much fun."
6. "I don't really like sports."
5. "I only went to maybe one sporting event in college."
4. "I'm probably going to fail some of my classes. But I don't really care."
3. "I'm going to be a brain surgeon.", or "Since I'm going to be a surgeon." or "When I'm a surgeon." - I get it!
2. "That's something my mom would say." - Not usually a good thing.

And the number 1 think you should Not say on a date with me....

1. "I have no idea who that is." - After I mentioned the name Alex Smith.

Ah the joys of dating!

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Singlehood Saturday: Guidance

Tune in each Saturday for random stories from my single life.

The good, the bad, and the cute.


Today unfortunately I do not have a funny/awkward dating story for you. But I came across some unexpected guidance on dating and for my own sake want to immortalize it on my blog. So you're welcome to stop reading right now.... or now. But I bet now I have you intrigued. It wont be long I promise.

Basically I just came across this...Bring Happiness into Courtship and Marriage on and thought... Yes please! So instead of basically cutting and pasting the entire posting from their website. I'll just encourage y'all to go check it out yourself.

But I will copy and paste this part...

“Do you want capability, safety, and security in dating and romance, in married life and eternity?” Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles asks. “Be a true disciple of Jesus. Be a genuine, committed, word-and-deed Latter-day Saint. Believe that your faith has everything to do with your romance, because it does. You separate dating from discipleship at your peril. Jesus Christ, the Light of the World, is the only lamp by which you can successfully see the path of love and happiness.”

I have experienced this truth. That my faith has everything to do with my romance. I've had specific prayers answered in regard to dating. I've felt the Fathers joy for me when things go well. I've felt His heart breaking when mine does. I've felt His desire to give me my righteous desires, and His heart aching because he cannot simply just give me what I want. You know, that whole agency thing.

I do not know everything. But I do know this. Heavenly Father yearns to be a part of our lives. All parts. Especially the ones that affect us eternally. And oh how comforting it is to know that you have got a God on your side through those parts of life.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Dear Disneyland:

Dear Disneyland:
Hello old friend! It's been far too long! I mean four years is just too long of a separation. I have felt the pull of your delicious smells and jovial music playing down mainstreet. You always bring out the ridiculous in me. I love you for that.
I'm writing so big because I'm so EXCITED! And the level of my voice tends to elevate when I talk about you. It must be love. Our visit wont be long but we always make it worth the time it takes to get there. And a visit with you is extremely needed right now... More than ever before. Okay if I keep writing I'll just ramble on about how much I love you and go over all the silly things I plan on doing while I'm visiting you so I'll stop! Just know that I'm EXCITED!

You're much devoted friend.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Singlehood Saturday: The tale of Bob.

Tune in each Saturday for random stories from my single life.
The good, the bad, and the cute.

The Tale of Bob.
(yes the name is changed)

Meet Bob. I noticed Bob my first week at my new ward last May. He was sharp. Cute. And noticeably took the gospel seriously. So naturally I take notice.
Bob doesn't show notice to me until he finds out we're the same age and I'm getting a master degree. Apparently my good looks just weren't enough. (ha. just kidding... but seriously)
So after 3 months, (turns out my magic isn't that powerful) Bob approaches me during church and asks me if I was free that Friday. Turns out that time of life I was completely overbooked and had no free time. I didn't understand why he looked so disappointed. I was very sincere in saying that if I was free I'd go. Well during the next class I realized that I should have suggested another time to go out. So I try and find him after church end. I see Bob talking with someone. I didn't want to interrupt but I tried to say bye. Ignored. "Hmmm" I thought to myself. "That's odd." But I made a plan to go to an activity that night and talk to him then.
I arrive on time to the activity with a friend. Bob is already there talking with some other people. I sit by some other members of our ward and get to know them. It's not like I was desperate. I could talk to him after. Well needless to say Bob completely avoided me. Talked to other girls. Made sure not to make any eye contact what so ever. Uh... okay.
So I realize I was at fault to not suggest another time to go out. I learned my lesson. But seriously Bob, just completely ignore me? I know it's tough asking girls out but being an idiot about it after and being all hurt about it is extremely unattractive.
Well a few weeks went by and I thought I should still give it a chance. So I went to another activity and sat by Bob and we chatted a bit. I then told him that my time was more open if he still wanted to do something. He got my number. We were with a big group and someone was introducing a friend of mine and said "Something unique about her is that she can't wink." I said in a loud enough voice for the group to hear "Prove it." I got a good laugh. I laughed too. Because, it was funny. But immediately Bob leans into me and says with a chuckle, "You're rude." I was exacerbated. I said "No I'm not. That was funny." Well that did it. I knew right then we don't have matching senses of humor.
So alas when Bob called to go on the date I was reluctant to answer but I knew I needed to.
The date was fine. Not awful.
But while we were sitting by one another, arms touching... nothing. Nadda. No chemistry at all. I said  to myself  "well that does it."
Bob invited me to a Party after that, I couldn't go.
And then another encounter to solidify my decision.
Another church activity. In a small group was Bob, myself, and a few other people. We were meeting a new young man who said "Oh yeah. I just live over the fence." I said, not looking for a huge reaction, "Oh did you just jump over it?" Bob says "Oh yeah this one(pointing to me with his thumb in hitch hiker position) knows all about jumping fences down at the point of the mountain." He starts laughing. I look at him dumbstruck. I had no idea to what he was referring. He kept laughing. And then nudged me with his elbow. "It was a joke." I looked at him and said "I don't get it." Bob said "You know the prison." I replied "Oh... I thought it was some weird BYU reference."

I realized then I really couldn't date someone that annoys me. Seriously though, I'm some escaped convict? I really didn't get that joke at all. So weird.

Bob didn't seem to give up. Turns out you talk to some boys and they think you like them. So he called I luckily missed the call. He didn't leave a message. I didn't call back. But I sent him a message loud and clear when I gave him my friends number for him to take out. I lack the ability to be subtle.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Times of the Signs

"I have felt prompted to speak of the importance of preparation for a future event of supreme importance to each of us--- the Second Coming of the Lord....
We are living in the prophesied time 'when peace shall be taken from the earth', when 'all things shall being commotion' and men's hearts shall fail them'. There are many temporal causes of commotion, including wars and natural disasters, but an even greater cause of current 'commotion' is spiritual.
Viewing our surroundings through the lens of faith and with an eternal perspective, we see all around us a fulfillment of the prophecy that 'the devil shall have power over his own dominion'...Evil that used to be localized and covered like a boil is now legalized and paraded like a banner.
The most fundamental roots and bulwarks of civilization are questioned or attacked. Nations disavow their religious heritage. Marriage and family responsibilities are discarded as impediments to personal indulgence.
The movies and magazines and television that shape our attitudes are filled with stories or images that portray the children of God as predatory beasts or, at best, as trivial creations pursuing little more than personal pleasure.
And too many of us accept this as entertainment."- Elder Dallin H. Oaks, April 2004

God sent a flood due to violence.

Moses 8:28-30 
28 The aearth was bcorrupt before God, and it was filled with violence.
 29 And God looked upon the earth, and, behold, it was corrupt, for all flesh had corrupted its away upon the earth.
 30 And God said unto Noah: The end of all flesh is come before me, for the earth is filled with violence, and behold I will adestroy all flesh from off the earth.

He destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah due to moral decay.

"Much of the world is being engulfed in a rising river of degenerate filth, with the abandonment of virtue, righteousness, personal integrity, traditional marriage, and family life. Sodom and Gomorrah was the epitome of unholy life in the Old Testament. It was isolated then; now that condition is spread over the world." -Elder Richard G. Scott, April 2004.

I was introduced to the above idea yesterday. That the 'signs of the times' may be physical and portrayed in natural disasters but you know, I think if we look spiritually we would see that the 'signs of the times' are by far the worst they have ever been.

I do not fear the coming of the Lord. I rejoice in knowing that he will come. I only pray that I may be able to be worthy of his presence when he does choose to come and reign on earth once more.


So I have a confession to make. I did not post last Saturday for two reasons.

1. I don't know the secret to dating. Just winging it as I go actually.

2. I got caught up listening to General Conference that it slipped my mind.