Thursday, December 22, 2011

A Christmas Worth Waiting For

A Christmas Worth Waiting for....

As a child the days seem never ending,
as Christmas day draws near.
Waiting with the lights turned low
being certain you saw a rain deer.

Christmas morning, presents wrapped
time spent playing with new toys.
Feelings of anticipation ended.
This was Christmas joy.

Was it worth the waiting?
Hours of counting down.
Hoping and praying that on Christmas,
Santa would come to your town.

Others faced a different fate
on that first Christmas morn.
To lose their lives or remain true (1)
that a savior would be born.

Fear could not be present
for faith would need to overthrow,(2)
within the hearts of the believers
who did not deny what they know.

5 long years would pass in time
Amidst wars, threats, and confusion.
At last a day with no night, our Saviors birth!
And a new star in the sky was the conclusion. (3)

2 men waited upon at this Christmas time of year.
One brings gifts, but only if your nice.
The other, everlasting life.
What is worth waiting for on that Christmas eve night?

I hope you all a Merry Christmas. May the spirit of hope and peace that comes with the birth of our Savior to this earth be within yours and your families hearts this year.

Merry Christmas!

1. 3 Nephi 1:9
2. 3 Nephi 1:8
3. Helaman 14:2

Thursday, December 15, 2011

What ya reading?

Turns out I am sucker for good literature. My mother expresses shock seeing as a young girl I did not enjoy reading. But with age I have truly come to appreciate words and their ability to explain emotion.

Right now I am reading Charles Dickens  "A Christmas Carol." Have I ever fully read this book? No! But I tell you I have started reading it at least 5 times. I purposely start over because I love the first page. Dickens is funny!

"Old Marley was as dead as a door-nail.
Mind! I don't mean to say that I know, of my own knowledge, what there is particularly dead about a door-nail. I might have been inclined, myself, to regard a coffin-nail as the deadest piece of ironmongery in the trade. But the wisdom of our ancestors is int he simile; and my unhallowed hands shall not disturb it, or the Country's done for. You will therefore permit me to repeat, emphatically, that Marley was as dead as a door-nail."

See! Funny! I really could re-read that paragraph a hundred times.

But now to share with you a paragraph that I just read today, from a scene that I do not recall depicted in any of the film versions of this work of literature.

The setting: Scrooge is still with the Ghost of Christmas Past. He has just seen the shadow of the girl he was in love with is leaving him. Oh! I have to share this part.
"Your own feeling tells you that you were not what you are," she returned. "I am. That which promised happiness when we were on in heart is fraught with misery now that we are two. How often and how keenly I have thought of this, I will not say. It is enough that I have thought of it, and can release you."


The next scene is Scrooge witnessing a family, his past fiance now older with her children.
Scrooge's thoughts "And yet I should have dearly liked, I own, to have touched her lips, to have questioned her, that she might have opened them, to have looked upon the lashes of her downcast eyes, and never raised a blush, to have let loose waves of hair, an inch of which would be a keepsake beyond price; in short, I should have liked, I do confess, to have had the lightest license of a child, and yet to have been man enough to know it's value."

I found myself mourning for Scrooge. Something I never really have experienced with a film version.

I have realized something more about myself and why words effect me so much. I am someone who likes to understand things. If something does not make sense, well I figure it out. So when feelings come along, whether they be of joy or sadness or pain. I need to make sense of it all. That is where words come in. Especially written by someone else. It is like this feeling of relief knowing that someone else understands.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

That would be Austen!

So I'm sick. I have been now for a week. Today I decided to take a 'sick day.' Not from work or school, because I don't have either, but from life. I laid in bed all day long! The only reason I like being sick is because I do not feel guilty doing that. Lying in bed all day long. Anyway...
When I'm not feeling well I always watch the same movies. Ones I've seen and wouldn't mind falling asleep to. I think I've watched 'Pride and Prejudice' enough times I could convert the hours spent watching it into money and pay for my entire graduate degree. (That's a lot!) So as I'm watching it today I get to the part where Charlotte Lucas informs Elizabeth Bennet that she is marrying Mr. Collins. "I'm 27 years old. I have no money,  no prospects. I'm already a burden to my parents." Then I remembered in Persuasion when Lady Russel is talking to Anne about how she is beautiful and will find someone Anne replies "I'm 27."
Now this makes a 27 year old girl think. But what do I think about? "Which type of Jane Austen romance would most likely happen for me?"
Mansfield Park: Not so much looking to fall in love with my cousin.
Emma: Long time friend 16 years older than me... I like the long time friend thing. And I've been there before that you don't really realize you care that way about your friend until one of your female friends likes him and jealousy sneaks in to reveal your true feelings. But still... not so much.
Northanger Abby: Never read it. Never seen a movie. So it's probably not good enough for me.
Sense and Sensibility: This one I could accept. Edward Farris and Elanor that is. Although finding out that the man I'm in love with has been secretly engaged for years would be a tough thing to get through. I love the mutual adoration that both characters have for one another. Close contender.
Pride and Prejudice: As much as I love this movie. I don't so much love the love story of Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy. I mean it works for them. But we're talking about me. I don't think it would work well for me to have a guy profess his love after not really showing it all that well. If a guy did that to me today, I probably wouldn't end up with him.
Persuasion: I think I will pick this one as my favorite. I do not really have a relationship that I can relate to Anne Elliot and Capt Wentworth, meaning I was not in love with anyone when I was 18 and would still want to marry them today. However, I love this story. Even though when they were reunited it was rocky and Anne felt no reason to hope. Once Wentworth finally gives in and confesses to her how he feels...(sigh) It's just awesome! Or should I say 'Austen!" 
Turns out I'm a bit of a romantic...

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Cannot Fail

Think back on your education experience. How many times did you actually have an opportunity to really push yourself?
Through my entire general education experience and I can only think of one circumstance. My theatre class. No other subject do I feel that I left being better at it then when I went in. But in theatre I was given chances to push myself and develop. Which would explain why I thought that was all I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I did not think I was good at anything else.
Turns out, I'm good at a lot of things. However, it has taken me a long time to realize that I can be good academically.
A lot of that is due to the institution I am attending now for my graduate degree. I was talking to my best friend about the fact that I got A's in two of my classes that were half semester courses and how happy I was. I then told her of my realization I had about a month into my program.
When we first began they told us that we had to get B's to pass. I felt a little overwhelmed. I've worked my tail off in some of my college classes and just scraped by with a B so I was ready to work really hard.
After a month of a LOT of hard work in this program I realized there really was no way that I could get a B let alone not pass. Sure if I didn't do the work I wouldn't get the points. But why would I be there if I didn't want to do the work. And as long as I just stuck to what was expected of me and did my best well I'd end up passing just fine.
Is it hard? Yes! Am I being challenged? Very much so! But that's the cool part. I'm succeeding!
So I was telling my best friend, we'll call her Bill Nye, about this fact that I really can't fail. So although it sounds great that I'm doing so well, there is really no way I can't do well as long as I put in the time and effort. Bill Nye said, "Just like Heavenly Father."
I knew she was right but I asked her to expound on that thought. She said, "Well, He obviously wants us to succeed and make it back with Him. He does not want us to fail." This is so true.
We have a God that wants us to be successful. He provides us with all the tools necessary to do so and then it's up to us. But he sets it up so we wont fail. The only way we can is if we chose to. Just like my program. It's hard at times but I love this opportunity and time to prepare for my career.  But it's my choice how serious I want to take it. It's my choice.
Our Father sent his only begotten son to save us all. All. In the end it's our choice whether or not we want to be saved.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Day and Age

A snippet of a reoccurring conversation...

New acquaintance: "How old are you?"
Me: "27."
New acquaintance: "Wow! Really? You don't look that old!"
Me: "Thank you. I get that a lot."

But what I really think is. I'm not old! What am I supposed to look like?!

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Thanks for Gratitude

grate-ful: adj. thankful or appreciative for benefits or kindnesses
grat-i-tude: n. the state of appreciation and gratefulness
thank: v. express one's gratitude; to credit
thank-ful: adj. feeling or showing of gratitude
thanks: pl., n. expression of one's gratitude

 Lately I've contemplated these words and what they really mean. What does it really mean to give thanks? How can I truly show my gratitude for something or to someone? I've felt that words are so trifling and cannot do my feelings justice.

Gratitude as defined above is a state of appreciation. A state that someone can be in, not simply a feeling. Then being thankful, or giving thanks is the result of the feelings that reside in us when we are in a state of gratitude.

I think that is what is most beautiful about the holidays. They become an outlet for us all to express our thanks and love towards one another. No wonder we all look forward to them with anticipation and joy. An inevitable result is a state of gratitude. When the holidays come around I always wish I was better at expressing my love and appreciation for those in my life on a more consistent basis.

As a christian and member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, it is not a new idea to give thanks for the blessings we have in our lives. Christ showed an example of this in The Lords Prayer and we too are encouraged to remember those blessings that abound in our lives.

To commemorate this day I found a beautiful talk given by the Prophet of our church, President Thomas S. Monson. It is entitled "The Divine Gift of Gratitude." I encourage all to read his words and feel of their truth. Also that we may apply his council. For "by their fruits you shall know them"(Matthew 7:15-20). Pres. Monson states,"My brothers and sisters, to express gratitude is gracious and honorable, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live with gratitude ever in our hearts is to touch heaven."

I am filled with gratitude. I am overwhelmed by the many blessings I have in my life.
A family that supports me.
A safe and comfortable place to live.
A job that is flexible so that I can focus on my education.
My education and the opportunities that lay ahead.
All the people in my life that have helped shape me.
My understanding of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
Freedom of religion.
Temples that help me stay centered on what matters most.
Institute and its ability to pull me away from the world.
Friends that let me ramble off on things they may not fully understand.
Friends that make me laugh. (I know it's not hard to do. But it's very much appreciated.)
My talents and hobbies, for giving me moments of peace and stress relief.
The scriptures and their ability to teach me and answer prayers.
Prayer and its ability to bind me more and more to my Father in Heaven.
A Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ and through him the ability to be better each day.
A loving, kind, generous, patient, merciful, Father in Heaven. With whom nothing seems impossible.

I hope to us all a Happy Thanksgiving. May the feeling of gratitude influence us always to share thanks.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Singled Out

Alright all you non-single people out there, this is for you! I hope to develop for you my past weekend so that you'll feel as if you were right there with me. Soaking in all that is wonderful about being single! (insert sarcasm)

Friday night.
My night began with a birthday party for an old roommate. I got there early and visited with her before more guests showed up. Finally some mutual friends arrived which are really the only people you talk to at parties. Never do you meet anyone new. And if you do never do they continue to talk to you long enough to know if you want to be interested in getting to know them better. So you just stand around talking to the people you've known for years about the only things you know you have in common. In this instance, common acquaintances and sports.
I was standing talking to an old friend about ... well I don't remember. I saw a fairly attractive male walk in and say hi to my friend. We met eyes. I smiled. We both stayed in our groups that we knew and then I left. Magical right?

I then headed over to another birthday party. This one was a 'black light' theme. I went alone again and had friends there at the house. No one I'm really close with so I was often left alone as the people I was with ran off with someone else they knew.
I found myself in the basement of the house where the 'dancing' was going on. There was no dancing! Everyone was just standing around in a big circle awkwardly swaying from one foot to the next, staring around the circle at one another. AWKWARD! So, what do I do? With this group of about 15 twenty something year olds I just yell out, "Okay this is awkward and really lame. So what we're going to do is each person has to do something and we'll go around the circle and copy them. That way we're all doing the same thing and no longer staring at one another." There were yells of "Yeah! You start!" So I did. Then I tried to pass it to the guy next to me and he just stood there. Mortified. He said his mind went blank. I said "It doesn't matter what you do. It's better than us just standing around." He wouldn't budge. He just stood there like a deer in head lights. So a girl grabbed it. We kept it going for about 5 to 10 minutes. People were laughing. We seemed to have fun. Then people started getting hot and tired. They dispersed quickly. I think if it hadn't been dark more people would know really know that I was the crazy girl making everyone have a good time.
I didn't stay much longer after that.
I drove home and thought. I hate parties!

The next night I first headed out to a wedding of a friend. I went alone. Knowing I'd see someone there I knew. I parked my car and swung my left leg out of my car to hear a beautiful long tearing sound. Yup! Jeans ripped! Starting at my inseam and ran right along the left cheek. (no not my face) I think. Well that's just great! Luckily I was wearing a long coat. But I could feel some cool air and I was just hoping that it wasn't visible. So I carefully walk into the wedding and get in line. I didn't see anyone. So I realized I'd be standing alone with a huge rip in my pants. Apprehensive to move much, I slowly turn around and whom do I see but my friend Natalie! We both were so pleased to see one another. My joy was that now I had someone to tell me how visible my rip was. She reassured me that it was not visible.
After the wedding was a 'fondu party' my friends were throwing. Yes still with a tear in my pants. I show up and of course immediately tell my good friends that I had a rip the size of my hand along my butt! Two of which kept telling me to take off my coat. I didn't hear the end of it all night long. Pretty dang funny! What did this party consist of? Standing around and talking to people I knew. At one point I did talk to some new males. But we talked about how there were a ton of guys with beards at the party. So we started giving out awards for each beard... Needless to say that didn't go far with those guys. Later my friend and I plopped down on a couch for the rest of the night. Finally I was able to take off my coat! I left close to midnight, glad I saw my friends but again. We could have done that without a party.

One more night. Then I'm done.
Sunday night. Ward prayer. Why do we have ward prayer? Some have referred to it as ward stare. My experience, the same people go all the time. I go because I want to get to know the girls in the ward better. Plus when I try and talk to the guys... nothing. So I leave ward prayer with a friend and drag her along to a desert night hosted by another friend of mine. I was met by an old high school friend. The single world in this city is pretty small. Everyone knows someone. So I talked to him for awhile. Then I went to another friend from college. Then another friend. Finally after being there for an hour talking to no new people it was time to leave. I then see a guy that I happen to see every night this weekend. Someone I would go on a date with. But we've known each other for years. Has he ever asked me out? No.

So I ask you? What was the point of that all? 6 social events in 3 days. I think the idea is to meet people. But turns out I never do meet people. I just go to support my friends that are having the event because I care about them.

So do y'all miss being single?

(I'm really not annoyed with being single. I'm happy. I just hate the 'social single scene.' LAME!) 

Thursday, November 17, 2011


I believe in God. I believe he is a loving Father in heaven. I believe the scriptures to be inspired writings from those called of God to communicate to us. I believe in personal revelation from my loving Father in heaven. I believe he doesn't change. I believe in miracles.

Mormon 9:19-21
19 And if there were miracles wrought then, why has God ceased to be a God of miracles and yet be an unchangeable Being? And behold, I say unto you he changeth not; if so he would cease to be God; and he ceaseth not to be God, and is a God of miracles.

20 And the reason why he ceaseth to do miracles among the children of men is because that they dwindle in unbelief, and depart from the right way, and know not the God in whom they should trust.
21 Behold, I say unto you that whoso believeth in Christ, doubting nothing, whatsoever he shall ask the Father in the name of Christ it shall be granted him; and this promise is unto all, even unto the ends of the earth.

3 Nephi 18:19-20
19 Therefore ye must always pray unto the Father in my name;

20 And whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, which is right, believing that ye shall receive, behold it shall be given unto you.

Matthew. 21:22 (21–22)

21 Jesus answered and said unto them, Verily I say unto you, If ye have faith, and doubt not, ye shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done.
22 And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.

Mark 11:24

Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.

Moroni. 7:26
And after that he came men also were saved by faith in his name; and by faith, they become the sons of God. And as surely as Christ liveth he spake these words unto our fathers, saying: Whatsoever thing ye shall ask the Father in my name, which is good, in faith believing that ye shall receive, behold, it shall be done unto you.

I emphasised the repeating phrases. The first principle is believing in Christ and having faith in Him. Then asking. Now, comes the hard part. Believing and not doubting that you will receive it. That you will receive it! It shall be done. That is marvelous in and of itself.

Now. I know sometimes that prayers are not answered. Ones that come from the deepest corners of our soul. But in spite of those moments I do know that prayers are answered. Prayers that involve those things that are important to us. We must be willing to accept the alternative. But sometimes, and I think more than often, the Lord wants to give us our righteous desires.

Lately I've had prayers answered. Prayers that I was inspired to utter. Prayers that seems so weird or silly or insignificant to ask for. Let me rephrase that. Insignificant to ask a God for. But I now know that nothing is too insignificant to ask a Father for.

We only see miracles based on our faith. So lately I've asked myself. Okay how is my faith lacking. Well, I doubt and fear things a lot. Only very specific things(sorry they are a bit personal). And doubt and fear are the opposite of faith and they cannot coexists. So then the moments I begin to doubt and fear I must just replace them with faith. Easy?... So far, no. I still get moments of past thoughts and feelings rushing back into my chest that cause me to no longer have confidence in the things I know I've been told by the Lord.

But here is something that has helped. These scriptures. And more specifically memorizing them so the moment that I feel those feelings coming upon me I throw at them a scripture. And miraculously I'm able to be calm.

I believe in a God of miracles. I believe he wants our righteous desires to come to pass for us possibly more than we do.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011


I'm not sure how many times I begin a new post and then stop. Erase. And start again. I don't know why I do this. I have a lot of things on my mind and things I could share but... I get stopped by something. Prepare for an Alice in Wonderland(random) type blog post.

You know what I admire? People who have no reservations in letting others know who they are and what they stand for. Even if I do not agree with it. I just love it!

I hate how easily I slip into old negative habits that I, at some point have overcome. But that just makes me that much more grateful for my opportunity to go to church each Sunday and center myself with the Father and the Savior once again. I am in awe of their patience with me. But sure am grateful for it.

Today in class my professor told us how she hated rewarding middle school students with candy. She said "A ninth grader would sell their soul for a jolly rancher!" Ha! She then went on to say that she likes healthy food so she would reward the students with a rice cake if they did their homework. HA HA HA! I lost it! A rice cake! Seriously! So funny! What kind of motivation is that? Granted I like me a good rice cake. But I just found that so fun! The best part about it is the rice cakes worked! 

Oh. Did I also mention that a few months ago I was awarded the 'most distinctive laugh' award from my professor? I was so proud! And yes this made me laugh again. I have gotten a lot of comments along the lines of 'well if you want to think you're funny just hang out with Camille.' Now just to clarify. I do not think everyone is funny. But I just like things that catch me off guard. So if you do that... DONE! You get me to laugh. But some people are better at it than others... I love people who make me laugh. And that can make fun of me in a funny way. Not easily done. But they sure knew how to do it back in the day with groups of people.
p.s. Make sure you make a joke/comment that relates to what we're talking about. Otherwise it just goes over my head and I look at you like you're crazy. This happened on Monday night with a young man that I think likes me. But seriously if he can't make me laugh... well. I just know it's not going to work out.

I also get a lot of comments from strangers thanking me for smiling. Don't people smile? Are people just unhappy and do not make the time to even give a grin?! Come now. We have time to 'give a grin.' (oh my gosh that is so dang cheesy but I'm keeping it!)

I just started reading "The Four Loves" by C.S. Lewis it states in the introduction...
        ".. our the accurate refelction in consciousness of our actual nature. We are born helpless. As soon as we are fully conscious we discover loneliness. We need others physcally, emotionally, intellectually; we need them if we are to know anything, even ourselves."
I am far from an expert on love. But I know this statement is true. And to quote a favorite song...
     "I've heard you're really not somebody. Until somebody else loves you. Well I am waiting to make somebody, somebody, soon."

Okay I'll end there. I'm sure y'all didn't even make it through this whole thing. You've probably moved onto the next blog where there are cute pictures of someones new baby. Or a new craft that someone has come up with...

Friday, November 11, 2011

Music Memories

There is real power in music. It has the power to calm a broken heart or cause the heart to race. I wonder where my infatuation with music came from or began. But I think it is nothing short of being a part of who I am. Yes, I grew up dancing. I learned at a young age to associate music with movement and feelings. But that doesn't change the fact that the moment I hear certain songs I'm mesmerized. I have to be quite, stop what I'm doing react.
So I have found some songs that will take you through sort of a quick timeline of my life. Not all are inspiring. But simply remind me of a time of life.

I have vivid memories of this musical and riding in my mom's minivan. I'd sit in the front seat and turn up my favorite songs. I was only 7 years old when I saw it live for the first time. However, by that time I had the whole show memorized. Except maybe 'master of the house' and 'lovely ladies' I think my mom skipped those songs for me. But the rest... To this day takes me back and I just can't help but belt this song out!

This reminds me of middle school. While this reminds me of high school. So many good memories of enjoying hours of these boys. Let's be honest... The boy band era was awesome!

I tried to think of college and songs that I listened to a lot but this song is all that came to mind. Granted I remember listening to it countless times as I commuted back and forth to the U. But then this one always brings back awesome memories with my Siggies! Insti stomp all the way!

Post college is when I started my long affair with this guy. Seriously everything he does I just love. I've seen him live and he's simply amazing. I love playing his songs too. He's just amazing.

Now for my mission. By being a full time missionary for the LDS church I had some restrictions on songs I could listen to. But this hymn was my saving grace most days. I cannot recall the countless times it kept me from distraction. I would constantly hum it to myself. Never singing it out loud unless my companion was in the shower. So it became the song of my soul for my mission. To this day I adore it's words and arrangement.

Now for today. I can't get enough of this song. Plus the artist. Something about her music just speaks to me. And that's what I realized about most of these songs and times of my life. They just speak to me.

Music is like another friend. Someone that can say what your feeling. Someone that you can relate with on so many levels. I simply love it. It's apart of me and who I am. I can't escape it calling to me. Which brings me to my dilemma... I'm looking to be spoken to again. I've been looking for new music for a few months now and everything comes up short. Luckily my favorite artists keep writing music. But I feel this strange void. I want so badly to find a good cd and just play it over and over and over again, until I have it memorized! (sigh) I'm open for suggestions!

That's all! I hope you had fun on this music scavenger hunt of sorts.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Dear World:

Dear World:
You are messed up! But I do not have the time to tell you all the reasons why at this moment. So I'll get back to you.

Saturday, October 22, 2011


In the mists of this stage called life we are faced with trials, tribulations, fears, distractions, questions, concerns, disappointments, misunderstandings, anger, pain, hurt, despair, loneliness...
Moments come that bring questions if what we are facing is worth it. If what we are experiencing is truly for our good. We cannot see the end from where we stand. We cannot see that which we have been promised. So we are faced with a choice. Do we continue in faith and believe in that which we want, hope, desire, long to be true?
OR do we not?
Every day we are faced with opportunities to live in faith. To live according to what we KNOW for ourselves to be true. No other person will be able to justify our actions. Calm our fears. Or convince us of what we should do. It becomes our choice to follow what we know we should do and what we know we can do.
There comes a point where we force ourselves to be more.
Love more.
Care more.
Listen more.
Believe more.
Lift more.
Smile more.
Believe longer.
Wait longer.
Be stronger.
Do what we have not done before.
No longer convinced that the way we think about ourselves and the way we treat others is permanent.


An Apostle of God said...
"... it ought to be a matter of great doctrinal consolation to us that Jesus, in the course of the Atonement, experienced all of the heartache and sorrow, all of the disappointments and injustices that the entire family of man had experienced and would experience from Adam and Eve to the end of the world in order that we would not have to face them so severely or so deeply. However heavy our load might be, it would be a lot heavier if the Savior had not gone that way before us and carried that burden with us and for us.

Very early in the Prophet Joseph’s ministry, the Savior taught him this doctrine. After speaking of sufferings so exquisite to feel and so hard to bear, Jesus said, “I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they [and that means you and I and everyone] might not suffer if they would repent” (D&C 19:16). In our moments of pain and trial, I guess we would shudder to think it could be worse, but the answer to that is clearly that it could be worse and it would be worse. Only through our faith and repentance and obedience to the gospel that provided the sacred Atonement is it kept from being worse.

Furthermore, we note that not only has the Savior suffered, in His case entirely innocently, but so have most of the prophets and other great men and women recorded in the scriptures. Name an Old Testament or Book of Mormon prophet, name a New Testament Apostle, name virtually any of the leaders in any dispensation, including our own, and you name someone who has had trouble.
My point? If you are having a bad day, you’ve got a lot of company—very, very good company. The best company that has ever lived.

Now, don’t misunderstand. We don’t have to look for sorrow. We don’t have to seek to be martyrs. Trouble has a way of finding us even without our looking for it...But remember, first, God has not forgotten you, and second, the Savior has been where you have been, allowing Him to provide for your deliverance and your comfort." - Elder Jeffrey R. Holland 9.7.2008 (The whole talk is worth the time to read it. Or you can watch it.)

Friday, October 21, 2011


Students need to know where they are going and what they are expected to accomplish (Childre, Sands & Pope, 2009).
I read this statement in an article I was assigned to read for grad school, and I thought how I hope to be that type of teacher. Clear with expectations, and support for how to reach those expectations.

I quickly realized that 'students' is too narrow for this statement.


EVERYONE needs to know where they are going and what they are expected to accomplish.

Which brings me to two things.

Because the gospel of Jesus Christ has been fully restored these two things provide me with the knowledge of where I am going and what is expected of me to get there.

Friday, October 14, 2011


Meet Henry Cavill
You may remember him like this...

Next year you will see him like this...
And here is where I prove that I found him first! Before he graces the screen as our beloved Superman/Clark Kent.

Keep making movies Henry. You're a joy to look at!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011


So I've been pretty blessed the past year to have a strange patience for people. I rarely would find myself getting annoyed or frustrated with others. I loved it. It was so nice to not think about it and have those thoughts fill my mind.
Well lately, that hasn't been the case. I hate it. I find myself focusing on little things that are so annoying and making them into something that is important. It's contagious too... So it's time to do better, before it gets worse! I don't want to care about the little dumb things that people do. I am just going to let them role off of me and let people be who they are! Because let's face it. There is no way in... that people don't find things annoying about me. I mean come on! Have you heard my laugh? And how loud my voice can get? It's pretty crazy sometimes.
So here is to positive thinking, or not even that. Just not negative thinking about others. Because I could really do fine with just not thinking about little stupid things that people do.
Here's to doing better! (CHEERS!)


So... If you read my blog at all you'll notice a decline in posts. There are a few reasons for this.
1. I blog while at work. My job has been CRAZY busy lately. If you know of anyone that needs part time work please contact me! We are slammed!
2. While at work when I have time I am doing homework. Because if I don't do it at work, it wont get done in the time I have outside of school.
3. I usually blog about things that have been on my mind... Well not much aside from Education Reforms have been on my mind as of late. So if y'all are interested in that... comment here and I'll fill you in.

wait I just thought of something to blog about! A thought!

Friday, October 7, 2011


Why is it that the one person you try not to think about is the one that the universe throws constant reminders about... Irony? Fate? Subliminal messages? Coincidence? AND Does the universe throw reminders of you their way? That seems only fair!! I mean seriously!
Alas... something we may never get to the bottom of. Sort of like a delicious bag of M&M's.

Friday, September 30, 2011

Fab Friday Fav Five!

(totaly borrowed this idea from Melinda because she is simply Ah-mahz-ing!)

Favorite things about FALL.

#1. This right here takes the cake for fall! I LOVE the leaves changing. Always have! I can't get enough of them. Sometimes I get a bit too distracted while driving and trying to take them in all at once. LOVE THEM!
#2. FOOTBALL!! Makes everything better!  
#3 Back to school time! Come on it's so much fun!

#4. Pumpkin Flavored Treats! Shakes, cookies, breads, pies, yummy yummy things!

#5. Putting on a light jacket at night when it gets chilly!

Saturday, September 17, 2011


How often do we have opportunites to truly get to know other people? How often are we exposed to new individuals and their experiences and have an opportunity to learn from them and their past? Something we have been discussing in school is this idea behind each individual having a 'funds of knowledge.' Each person has something to offer based upon thier past and what they have learned.
I have now been in this masters program for only three and a half weeks. In those three and a half weeks I have not only gained a deeper apprehiattion for the role of educators but also 28 new close friends. Going to school is enjoyable. I look forward to seeing my classmates. Each of us has a past. Some are from different countries and they are completeing this rigorus program as english being their second language. I applaude them. The level of respect we have for one another is inspiring. And there is no feeling of competition. Instead we are filled with the desire to help one another do better. It is pretty impressive.

I heard a talk this past weekend given by an apostle talking about Tolerance and mutual respect for all. I'll include some comments he made.
Elder Dallin H. Oaks:
"all persons are brothers and sisters under God, taught within their various religions to love and do good to one another."
President Gordon B. Hinckley:
"Each of us [from various religious denominations] believes in the fatherhood of God, although we may differ in our interpretations of Him. Each of us is part of a great family, the human family, sons and daughters of God, and therefore brothers and sisters. We must work harder to build mutual respect, and attitude of forbearance, with tolerance one for another regardless of the doctrines and philosophies which we may espouse.”
Dr. Alwi Shihab, an Indonesian Muslim scholar, elaborated that idea in these words:
“To tolerate something is to learn to live with it, even when you think it is wrong and downright evil. . . . We must go, I believe, beyond tolerance if we are to achieve harmony in our world.”
Relying on the teachings of the Quran, Dr. Shihab continued:
“We must respect this God-given dignity in every human being, even in our enemies. For the goal of all human relations—whether they are religious, social, political, or economic—ought to be cooperation and mutual respect.”
Living together with mutual respect for one another’s differences is a challenge in today’s world. However...this living with differences is what the Gospel of Jesus Christ teaches us we must do.

In society we can see the lack of resepect that exisits. No country is void of this empidemic. However, what these brilliant men speak of is possible. I am seeing it in action. What a great place this world would be if we could all embrace these feelings and mutual respect for one another.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Things I'm being deprived of...

-Reading Blogs.
-Posting on my blog!... I know y'all are all missing it so much! Yes you! The one who is still reading me.
-Eating dark chocolate... I'm going through with drawls.
-Movies... I'm so far behind! I purchased a movie the week before school started. It still has not been viewed!
-My friends... You still out there friends? Luckily I've got my freaking awesome co-hort. Three weeks = best friends!
-Meals... Thank goodness for peanut butter and sandwich thins, protein drinks, and granola bars. YUM!
-Current Events... What's going on? All I talk about are things in relation to education. So although I'm learning a lot about diversity and funding in the public school systems and how to teach better, turns out there are other things going on in the world.
-Down time... If I have any it's filled with reading. And then more reading. And then writing papers. And then re-writing the papers I wrote. And then more reading.
-Running errands with my mom and helping her watch my niece.

Now onto the things I've gained...
-Like I mentioned before, an awesome co-hort. I don't know why I'm so lucky. A day does not go by that we don't laugh and complain and just support one another.
-An appreciation for teachers. There is so much that goes into educating young people. I've had some pretty great teachers growing up.
-New insights and appreciation for people. There are some amazing individuals out there.
-The ability to manage stress effectively. I'm not sleeping all that well, but at least I'm not losing my mind.
-A better view of the type of educator I hope to become.
-A stronger testimony of a patient father in heaven, helping me to do what seems impossible.

And things that haven't changed...
-Saturdays watching college football... Go Utes!

Friday, September 2, 2011

Follow up How to: Handle Stress

Alright y'all so remember this post about how to figure out ways to handle stress? Well, thanks to Malory for contributing as requested. I'll have you know that I did in fact notice my breathing these past two weeks. It did help just to take a step back and get some good old oxygen in. But I thought I'd share something that I found interesting.
So I have a real hard time falling asleep. That's when my brain goes into high speed Internet mode. So many thoughts start running through my head. It's like a bad dream that when you go back and try to explain it to someone you don't understand how suddenly your mom turned into a giant teddy bear in your dream. So each night when I lie down I just got swarmed with thoughts. At times it leads to unwelcome anxiety. I've tried many things to calm me down. Music, a movie, book, saying a prayer, writing in my journal. All seem to help. But nothing really does the trick.
So the other night I am thinking about homework and all the stuff I have to accomplish in the next few days. And my heart rate rises and I feel it coming on and a thought comes to mind... "just embrace it!"  I thought, hmm. Okay I'll just think as hard as I can about all this and put all my frustration into it. So I did. I just thought and thought as hard as I could. I put all my stress into that thought. You know what happened? I fell asleep.
Not sure why this worked so well. But I'm sure glad it does. I tried it out a second time the other night. Same result! Finally after at least a decade of dealing with insomnia I've found a solution! Kind of weird... but let's be honest. It's me! Nothing new there about weird things.

To be or not to be...

Okay so there is not any real reason for the title of this post... It is just what came to mind.
You want to hear how much fun I had in class today? Well not hear. You will have to read it. But still I hope you enjoy.
So today we got our papers back and our professor wanted to go over some basic grammar with us. Now we all acknowledged how sad it was that we, graduate students needed one. But we were all happy for it. Our professor took us through some basic things and there was a lot of talk and chatter going on. I noticed that she did not once stop us. She did not ask us to stop talking. She just continued to answer questions and get her lesson taught. Until one point she stops with a big smile on her face and said "I've never experienced this much talking and exciting during a grammar lesson. And I taught English for 10 years. I love it!" We all were grateful for the corrections.
So after this we were put into groups and asked to write a summary of the things that we learned from our assigned readings. With this summary we were to apply the grammatical elements we had just discussed.
My group was formed and we got all our information down into strait forward sentences. We were all asked to present our reviews so we had this awesome idea!! We, my peers and myself, were going to be the sentences. I was volunteered to be the punctuation along with another girl. Then there were two other girls who were the words in the sentence. We got really excited about this idea!
The first group went and we all discussed more punctuation things and their topic. Then two more groups went. We only had five minutes left in class! We were all getting so sad that we wouldn't be able to present our amazing sentence structure!! Our professor announces we have time for one more group and we jumped up!
Well our presentation was well received. Especially when another girl in the class helped be a colon. You know, one of these " : " How did we accomplish this you ask? Well I squatted down in a ball and the other girl jumped over me and yelled "freeze!" then landed right next to me.
Once we finished the whole class was laughing and our professor said "I get it now!"
We thought it was a great way to wish everyone a happy labor day weekend!
Grad school is fun!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Big difference.

So it's only my first day of grad school, and I still have 4 more classes to go to and get a feel for but I already notice a difference.
It was near the end of my second 3 hour class and I'm writing down all these thoughts and ideas I have about teaching and how I want to be a good teacher, and what I can do to be a good teacher, lesson plan ideas, how to get to know the kids... so many thoughts and I'm writing them frantically down. I don't want to forget. And then I realize. Never ONCE did this happen in my undergraduate degree. Then I thought, "Is this the difference when studying a masters degree or did I just not do so well with my undergrad?"
Needless to say, I'm very excited... and now I'll list why. (remember it's only been one day)

1. my college is really concerned about my education. It's awesome.
2. my co-hort is filled with the most diverse group of people I've ever been around. I'm so excited to learn from them.
3. I already am getting ideas of how to be a better teacher... many more days to go until I get to be one.
4. everything I'm learning is applicable.
5. I see the possibilities of me being a much better scholar.
6. lots of awesome perks that are obviously paid through my tuition. :)
7. I thrive when I'm around people and have goals to work on.
8. I'm going to become an expert in time management. I wont survive otherwise.

"... learn what [is] expect[ed] of you, make a plan to do it, act on your plan with diligence, and then share with others how your experience changed you and blessed other."
- Elder Henry B. Eyring, Act in all Diligence

This is my plan on how I'm to be successful!

Monday, August 22, 2011

Have peace.

Jeremiah 29: 4-7
4 Thus saith the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel, unto all that are carried away captives, whom I have caused to be carried away from Jerusalem unto Babylon;
5 Build ye houses, and dwell in them; and plant gardens, and eat the fruit of them;

6 Take ye wives, and beget sons and daughters; and take wives for your sons, and give your daughters to husbands, that they may bear sons and daughters; that ye may be increased there, and not diminished.
7 And seek the peace of the city whither I have caused you to be carried away captives, and pray unto the Lord for it: for in the peace thereof shall ye have peace.

I was struck by these vs. of scripture. Here are the Jews taken into captivity, Jeremiah, their prophet is no longer with them, but is able to send letters to them to give them direction. In this letter he informs the people that they will be in captivity for 70 years. Not such good news. But what I love most is the direction from the Lord.
"Look you're going to be in captivity for a while so why don't you build houses, plant food, get married, and have children. But seek peace and pray to me and you shall have peace."
So their situation is less than ideal, nevertheless the Lord wants them to just continue to live life and make the most of it. I just loved it. Simple advice that I know we hear all the more often. But I just was touched by the situation of these people and how often we too can find ourselves in our own captivities. No matter what it is that is less than ideal in our lives. And how the Lords advice I'm sure would be the same to us today. That we should just accept our state and trust in the Lord that maybe this is what he wants for us right now and to progress our lives the best way we're able. As we do that and seek for peace and continue to pray the Lord promises that we shall have peace.
Pretty wonderful if you ask me.
I love the scriptures!

Saturday, August 20, 2011

How to: Handle Stress

My 'how to' for today is one I'm currently trying to figure out. Something I probably should have evaluated a long time ago but it hasn't been till resent past years that my body is no longer able to handle stress well.
How do y'all handle stress? I took a stress management class my sophomore year of college, I should maybe go back and find my book and read through my notes. Which of course I kept. You never know right?
Here's what I've learned about my stress. When I have a deadline for a project I work very well. Television was a good job for me. So when I'm able to focus on the project at hand and get it done quickly... ta da! I'm good.
Not good... when I'm faced with ongoing stresses. My body doesn't like it much and it doesn't react well. I don't like it.
What worries me? The fact that I'm starting a masters and have been told it's really really hard and a lot of work because they condense a lot of information into a short program. So I then start thinking of how busy I'm going to be and how I'll have no time... blah blah blah. We've all been there right?
So... Here's my first discovery of de-stressing. I had an awful day at work this week and I came home and went outside and laid on the grass. I enjoyed just laying there with nothing to do, in nature, looking through the trees to the clear blue sky. After 15 minutes I felt great! So maybe I just need nature breathers... I tried it again the other day. Same result.
What have y'all found helps when you just feel you've had enough? I'm totally open for suggestions and I think that I'll test each of them and then get back to y'all how they worked and maybe find more suggestions.
I have no doubt that we're all faced with our own stresses in life. So maybe we can all figure out how to make it that much easier for each other.

Comment what's helped you most and I'll write a follow up post on the results!
Thanks for y'alls help!

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Nostalgic Nuisance

I'm nostalgic. I also love dates. So putting those two together I can usually remember specifically the date that major events and sometimes not so major events happened. More often than not I find myself picking up my journals and going back a year or two from the current date. I think it's fun to see what was going on. So this week takes me back to an eventful week a few years ago. Okay 7 years to be exact. (Meg can you believe it?!)
(this is not an actual excerpt from my journal. But pretty close, I just reread it. Enjoy!)

Aug 17 2004
"Well I'm sitting in LAX and I just can't believe what I'm about to do. What am I doing? I'm going to CHINA? What am I doing? Here we are a bunch of strangers all sitting silently waiting to get on a 15 hour flight to the other side of the world. I think we're all a little weirded out. No one is talking to anyone...
Well the plane ride was... not awful. But surely not something I'm looking forward to again. They gave us these little travel bags. COOL! We open them up and there is a sleep mask, tiny toothbrush and toothpaste, a small comb, and a sticker that you put on the top left corner of your chair to tell them if you want to be woken for the meal or left sleeping... I should have put the sticker there even though I didn't sleep. Not too sure what we ate. But I'm pretty sure that seafood was one of the sides in a very questionable looking Chinese tv dinner type plate. Also FYI when flying on a Chinese owned airline, don't expect to be watching American movies. Although watching a movie in Chinese makes for interesting entertainment especially when the 'couple' of the movie in the end meet on a beautiful bridge in bright colored robes on stilts and then end up falling off of them into each others arms and falling to the ground. Not sure where that came from. There was no flying, or stilts in any of the other parts of the movie. I wish I had taken an Ambien like Meggie did. She slept the whole way. Except the one time she woke up all confused and laughing. Now that was a good moment!
It was a bit weird getting off the plane in the middle of the night and walking into an airport where everything is Chinese. And what's with the big fat penguins dressed in different clothes. I'll have to figure that out.* It's quite relieving when you see a Chinese man holding a sign that says ILP teachers! Hurray!
Getting to our hotel was an adventure. Their freeways have no room on the sides if there is an accident, but they do have people cleaning the freeways with no space between them and the cars going like 80 miles an hour. Okay so I couldn't tell how fast the driver was going because it was in kilometers per hour.
Shanghai is huge and colorful! It's crazy seeing Chinese everywhere. There are a few signs in English but mostly just Chinese. The high light of the bus ride was when our driver when down a one way street in down town Shanghai. Yup.. that caused a back up. Especially because it's a two lane, one way road, that is very narrow. He had to do like a 6 point turn to get around. People were honking up a storm. They honk a lot here. I don't like it.
Finally we got to the hotel. The lobby is gorgeous we're thinking 'oh yes! A nice bed!' Seeing as I didn't sleep on the plane and we're now 14 hours ahead of what we're used to... I have no idea how little sleep I'm on. Well the lobby may have been nice but the rooms, not so much. But I didn't care I just wanted to lay down. I walk over to the bed put my bag down on the floor and jump on the bed ready to finally feel relaxed. Note to self and others. NEVER jump on a bed in China. They are wood blocks covered with a thin layer of padding. So the image my friend witnessed was a exhausted Cami so happy to see a bed then jumping full force only to land hard on her side and then writhe in pain. Followed by large outbursts of laughter.
It's gonna be a long 4 months if this is how my bed at school will be.^"

* The penguins to this day I don't know what they are. I saw them everywhere. I developed a fetish for them just because they were a mystery to me. I have two DVD cases with them on it, and a stuffed animal of one. So weird.
^ My bed I slept in at the school had been broken by whomever used it before so there was a give in it. But I still had to train myself to sleep on broken wood for 4 months. Upon coming home and sitting on my bed I was in awe of how comfortable a matress could be.

Saturday, August 13, 2011


“Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour” (Exodus 20:16).

A situation arose this past week that caused me to think about the principle of honesty.
I think I used to think of it merely as when asked a question 'always tell the truth. don't lie.' That was kind of it's extend. I wish I could admit I've never lied or been dishonest. Something I'm most definitely not proud of in the slightest way.

Almost two years ago I was apart of a lesson in church about Honesty. My heart was changed and since then I've done my best to be honest.

Back to this event this past week.
I told a coworker, who is my superior and good friend, about a funny conversation I had on gchat while at work. Two things happened 1. he didn't think it was funny, even though it had my cousin and I crying with laughter and 2. he told me we weren't allowed to use online chats. BLAH! That is something they forgot to mention when I was hired. It's been so nice to pass long days! And the days can get LONG! GRRRRR! We've resorted to emails...

So every time I want to chat to friends I think "What if today he asks if I did chat online? I don't want to have to lie. So I better not do it." Right there! This is my new understanding of honesty. Preventing the situation from even happening that would cause me to lie! Prevention! I love it! Okay so I know this isn't a new idea that has never been discovered, but I love how much sense it makes. It's also why I never drive more than 5 over the speed limit, I don't want to have a reason to worry if that cop is going to pull out and pull me over. He's gonna grab that speed demon next to me!

I thought about the peace of mind that comes when we're honest. Most of the time it's just us being honest with ourselves. Our integrity. What we do when no one is looking. So I thought about the simple change that is brought placed upon me when I KNOW the rules. I didn't know I was breaking a rule about online chats, I do now. Now I have a choice to make to either follow them and be honest, or not.

The same principle applies with God's laws, or the commandments. What a responsibility I have to follow those! Thanks to the restored gospel of Jesus Christ I know what they are, I've been told by many in authority what I should do... Am I going to do it? I sure want to be able to. Just like I don't want to have to lie to my friend if he by chance asks me if I chatted online, I sure don't want to have to face the Lord and confess (because lying will be impossible) that I did things knowing I shouldn't have. Because that day will come...

Now the more people I've told the more I'm held accountable! Thanks for your help! :)

*Between calls I'm allowed to use the internet and do most of anything. I'm not just NOT working.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Unavailable Irony

So seeing as I'm single, I spend time reflecting if there is anything I can do to do better, to help with my lack of dating life. I could blame it on all the males around me that for some reason just seem like morons who have no guts/desire/drive to take a cute, fun girl on a date. So yes I do put part of the blame on them, however I too take responsibility as well.
I've determined that for some reason I don't come off as being available. Not really sure what causes this. I was talking to a male friend about it last week and I told him my theory. He took a step back, looked me up and down and said, "Yeah I can see that. Here, now try acting all shy and scared." So I immediately close up and don't look him in the eye and act all shy and stuff. His response, "Well it worked! I'd totally come talk to you."
After laughing a bit, I told him that I wasn't going to take this tactic. Because let's face it, I'm not shy. Never really have been. Sometimes I'm not as outgoing but I'm not shy by any means, so I don't feel comfortable 'acting' shy to get a guy to ask me out then he finds out that I'm not that way... well it probably wont work out too well if I'm not being myself.
Turns out that guys aren't the only ones that think I'm unavailable, I talked to a good female friend of mine who said the same thing "I just think, well she's got a lot of friends she's probably busy." I reassured her this wasn't the case and that she and I could spend more time together.
So I'm sort of stuck not really knowing how I can help this situation without changing who I am....
Now for the Irony of it all.
I was approached by a young man at church on Sunday, we'll call him Ron. Ron and I have talked a few times and gotten comfortable so it wasn't weird having him come up to me. We talked for a minute then he asked me out for Saturday! Brilliant right?! I say well done Ron! Well done! Now for the Irony part, this week and next I'm working two jobs, leaving me literally with no nights free. Then the next week I begin my Masters program. Not really sure how free I'll be then. So I had to regretfully decline Ron's invitation. I was really bummed, he seems like a quality guy. But what was I to do?
Then after thinking about how a guy finally asked me out, to my face, I thought, well maybe I should suggest we do something another time? So I plan to go to ward prayer that same night and talk to him there... Turns out Ron must have been not too happy with my reply, he avoided talking to me the whole time I was there. So I thought, well I guess I wont do anything about it now.
After reliving the events to my best friend, she asked if we rescheduled. Someone else asked if I did that too! I didn't know that was a rule!! It makes sense but in all honesty I'm not very experienced with this type of thing.
So rule #8 when a boy asks you out and you can't go, suggest a night you can go.
Gee thanks for telling me all you married folk out there! :)
So I go from being perceived as unavailable*, to literally being so. Ahhh life! Pretty funny when you think about it.

*This is just a theory. I don't really know if it's true. But it's a far better theory than thinking there is something wrong with me. I've done that before... That's bad and usually not true.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Best friends

What makes a best friend?
Is it that you spend all your time with them?
Is it that you trust them?
Is it that you want to tell them everything going on in your life?
Is it that they understand you? And even if they don't understand you, they want to support you in  your decisions so you'll be as happy?
Is it the fact you have something in common?
Is it because they bring out the best in you?
Is it because they 'get' you?
Is if because you're going through the same things at that time?
Is it because you've experienced hard times together?
Is it because you've known them for so long you just can't help but keep them apart of your life?
Is it the fact that they make you want to be better?
Is it the fact that they simply care about you and want to know what's going on in your life?
Is it the fact that you can totally be yourself and know that you'll still be accepted?
Is it because you know, that no matter what you do they will always love you?
Is it because they make you laugh?
Is it because they listen to you ramble on and on about the same things that go through your head?

I think it's all of the above and more. Because I've got 'best friends' that can fit each one of these.

Here's a shout out to best friends! Those still in your lives and those from the past! For all the hours spend laughing, crying, and listening. For all the time spent caring and making memories. For all the stupid inside jokes. Here's to the late nights on the phone talking about bad dates, or great dates. To all the friends who don't give up. To best friends that will drive 100 miles just to spend a few hours with you. Ones who were in your life for a short time or for a lifetime. To all those who drop everything the minute you call. For all the encouragement and support. For all the big and small moments in life shared. For all the sacrifice involved. For just simply being there.

To those of my 'best friends' reading this. No matter where we are now, know that I'm forever grateful for you. Know that I've always felt so blessed for the friends I've had in my life. I've always offered a prayer of gratitude in behalf of those friends the Lord has placed in my life. Turns out I kind of like having people around me and being apart of my life. I sure do love you and always will!

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Hey Blog!

Hey Blog! How you doing today?
So we've now been involved for a little over 4 years I think. Wow, has it been that long? It's interesting to go back and see how our relationship has progressed. You've been with me through all the good times and bad too, now that I think about it.
I'm happy with how we've progressed. We used to only be involved in football games and movies and tv, now we have much much more to talk about. I enjoy our time together. And you have such a good memory that all I have to do is click, click and I can see what was going on in my life. You're so nice to remember so well.
Today blog I've got a lot on my mind. Well not a lot of things just a few things that end up having me think a lot.
I'll just talk about one though.
I'm going to be a full time student again Blog... It's been over 4 years since I've been a full time student. This is going to be weird. And I'm not just venturing to be a full time 12 credit student, I'll be around 19 credits this semester... EEK! But you know what Blog, I'm really excited. I'll tell you why.
I am someone who loves to be busy. I love having places to go and having my day full. But even  better a day full of worth while things.
I do so much better when I have short term goals to work on. School is the best. 4 months! It's perfect.
I'm looking forward to a social environment again. Work gives me none of that!
Turns out I love learning. LOVE LOVE LOVE it! Especially when it's something I can use and apply.
Let's see why else am I excited...I think that'll do for now.

So there's just one thing that is on my mind these days... along with... dating, boys, friends, family, Dallas, health, progression, cycling, health, disneyland...and football on occasion.
But I'll spare you details on all those things... BORING!

Thanks Blog! Have a good day!

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Makes me think...

Came across this and it caused me to think...

Preparation for the Second Coming
Dallin H Oaks April 2004

"What if the day of His coming were tomorrow? If we knew that we would meet the Lord tomorrow—through our premature death or through His unexpected coming—what would we do today? What confessions would we make? What practices would we discontinue? What accounts would we settle? What forgivenesses would we extend? What testimonies would we bear?"

I wish my replies could be
What confessions? None, I've made them.
Discontinued practices? None, I've stopped them.
Accounts to settle? None, I've settled them.
Forgiveness to extend? None, I've forgiven.
Testimonies to bear? None. I never hesitated.

But alas I am human... Lucky for me I'm a human with a Savior who can help me get to the point that my answers can be these. Thank goodness He's patient with me.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Dear Utah Football:

Dear Utah Football:
So... Hi! Um... I have to admit I'm a bit embarrassed to be writing you again. After last time I can't imagine you thought you'd be hearing from me again. But... well yesterday I saw this video...

And well after watching that... I just... okay I'll just say it. All my old feelings came flooding back! I could feel the excitement that comes from waiting in the stands hours before kick off for the first game! I remembered standing in the rain soaked to the bone and loving every minute of it. A smile came to my face and it wouldn't leave!
I don't know what I was thinking before... Maybe I wasn't. I was judging everything on how I felt about the '10 season. And let's face it, I really only was around for half of it and still kind of trying to figure things out.
But I no longer want that gap to be between us! I'm so sorry! I should have never thought my feelings had changed! I feel just terrible. I hope you wont hold this against me. I promise I still remained faithful to you! I never once looked at another team! I would never!
I'm so proud of you for being apart of the PAC-12 I'm going to be there for your first game in the PAC-12! That's right! I'll be there to support you through this new adventure. Maybe we can think of it as a new start for us. Not that the MWC days weren't good. If it weren't for the BCS busting I doubt we'd be here today!
So I hope you'll accept this letter as a plea for your forgiveness and acceptance back into the football freak that I am. I guess I just suppressed it a whole lot better than I thought. But again after watching the video above, I just couldn't stop saying. "I love Utah Football!!" Okay now I'm blushing...

You're devoted fan.

Go Utes!