Saturday, April 7, 2012

Singlehood Saturday: The tale of Bob.

Tune in each Saturday for random stories from my single life.
The good, the bad, and the cute.

The Tale of Bob.
(yes the name is changed)

Meet Bob. I noticed Bob my first week at my new ward last May. He was sharp. Cute. And noticeably took the gospel seriously. So naturally I take notice.
Bob doesn't show notice to me until he finds out we're the same age and I'm getting a master degree. Apparently my good looks just weren't enough. (ha. just kidding... but seriously)
So after 3 months, (turns out my magic isn't that powerful) Bob approaches me during church and asks me if I was free that Friday. Turns out that time of life I was completely overbooked and had no free time. I didn't understand why he looked so disappointed. I was very sincere in saying that if I was free I'd go. Well during the next class I realized that I should have suggested another time to go out. So I try and find him after church end. I see Bob talking with someone. I didn't want to interrupt but I tried to say bye. Ignored. "Hmmm" I thought to myself. "That's odd." But I made a plan to go to an activity that night and talk to him then.
I arrive on time to the activity with a friend. Bob is already there talking with some other people. I sit by some other members of our ward and get to know them. It's not like I was desperate. I could talk to him after. Well needless to say Bob completely avoided me. Talked to other girls. Made sure not to make any eye contact what so ever. Uh... okay.
So I realize I was at fault to not suggest another time to go out. I learned my lesson. But seriously Bob, just completely ignore me? I know it's tough asking girls out but being an idiot about it after and being all hurt about it is extremely unattractive.
Well a few weeks went by and I thought I should still give it a chance. So I went to another activity and sat by Bob and we chatted a bit. I then told him that my time was more open if he still wanted to do something. He got my number. We were with a big group and someone was introducing a friend of mine and said "Something unique about her is that she can't wink." I said in a loud enough voice for the group to hear "Prove it." I got a good laugh. I laughed too. Because, it was funny. But immediately Bob leans into me and says with a chuckle, "You're rude." I was exacerbated. I said "No I'm not. That was funny." Well that did it. I knew right then we don't have matching senses of humor.
So alas when Bob called to go on the date I was reluctant to answer but I knew I needed to.
The date was fine. Not awful.
But while we were sitting by one another, arms touching... nothing. Nadda. No chemistry at all. I said  to myself  "well that does it."
Bob invited me to a Party after that, I couldn't go.
And then another encounter to solidify my decision.
Another church activity. In a small group was Bob, myself, and a few other people. We were meeting a new young man who said "Oh yeah. I just live over the fence." I said, not looking for a huge reaction, "Oh did you just jump over it?" Bob says "Oh yeah this one(pointing to me with his thumb in hitch hiker position) knows all about jumping fences down at the point of the mountain." He starts laughing. I look at him dumbstruck. I had no idea to what he was referring. He kept laughing. And then nudged me with his elbow. "It was a joke." I looked at him and said "I don't get it." Bob said "You know the prison." I replied "Oh... I thought it was some weird BYU reference."

I realized then I really couldn't date someone that annoys me. Seriously though, I'm some escaped convict? I really didn't get that joke at all. So weird.

Bob didn't seem to give up. Turns out you talk to some boys and they think you like them. So he called I luckily missed the call. He didn't leave a message. I didn't call back. But I sent him a message loud and clear when I gave him my friends number for him to take out. I lack the ability to be subtle.

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