Saturday, April 28, 2012

Singlehood Saturday: "I can't imagine what that would be like."

Tune in each Saturday for random stories from my single life.
The good, the bad, and the cute.

"I can't imagine what that would be like."

I was visiting with a very dear friend of mine last week. I am truly grateful for her and the friendship that we have. So we were 'catching up' and talking about our lives. After some discussion she says "Wow. I cannot even relate to you at all. I have no idea what it feels like to be single for so long. These 7 years I've been married you've been single." I did not take offense. She's right. She cannot fully understand. And in turn I cannot fully understand many of the things she's gone through. So since it's singlehood saturday, here's a glimpse into what it's been like for me to be single the past ten years.

18 - you just want a boyfriend because it looks fun. You're alone, but have lots of friends.
19 - you realize that a boyfriend would lead to marriage and that scares you. You're alone and think it's better.
20 - you're able to skip off and move to another country without confronting anyone because there's really nothing keeping you here. You're alone and begin to feel lonely at times.
21 - you realize you maybe should start looking into this dating thing but at the same time you start going on lots of fun road trips with your friends and loving freedom. You're alone, but loving it.
22 - you recognize that finding someone worth dating is harder than it looks so you amerce yourself in football. Football. And more football. Oh and road trips to football games. You're still alone and still loving it, but still something makes you want to find someone.
23 - you graduate, realize life is starting and you're on your own to figure it out. It sucks. Sure your options are WIDE open, but sometimes a guide would be nice. You're alone, and it's hard, and it hurts, and it's scary.
24 - you receive hope and hold onto it. Dating life still is non-existent but being single gives you plenty of time to serve others and spend time with those you love. You're alone, but finally realize you in fact cannot do this alone.
25 - you decide to give up what you want for a while and give your time to God. You're alone, working with the Lord.
26 - you find out where you really stand and what you really stand for and pray that someone will support you in that. You're alone, no longer wanting to do it alone, but really good at living life alone.
27 - you want to continue to progress in life so you go back to school and realize you've found a new passion in life. At the same time you finally begin dating on a consistent basis. You're still alone, admitting that it's not the best way to do things, but you do your best at all the things.
28 -

I'm about to turn 28. I have been alone for a few years. I do not in any way regret my life. I am proud of whom I've been able to become. Has it been lonely? Yes. Has it been hard? Yes. Have I made it worth it? Yes. I think so.
I think the trick is to take what life throws at you and make it something to help progress you forward in life. My motto is "If you're not progressing, you're not happy."

And then sometimes when you're at your wits end with school and work and life and beyond stressed you ask God for help to get you through. And he sends you C.K. :) A cute boy that likes to spend time with you and somehow has the ability to take the stress away. Who knew that adding someone to your life would make it less stressful... You're still not sure where it will all lead but you're grateful for it right now.

2 comments:

Mallary said...

Amen, sister! It's so interesting to find that you're not the only one who has the exact same feelings...or cycle of feelings. Love ya!

Karen said...

I liked this post. Imglad you have c.k. Right now....whomever that is.