Someone very smart has told me that emotions are not bad. You feel them, give them to God and move on. And after learning what I have about the Atonement(my last post) this smart advice, makes so much more sense to me. How any time we feel pain, sorrow, betrayal loneliness sadness ... anything! Christ has felt that too. I've felt many things the past few weeks since learning this concept of how to better know Christ by empathizing with what he suffered through. Never will I have to feel as he did, but that's where the comfort comes. No matter what I go through, He went through worse.
I've had a lot of people tell me recently to just let me feel what I need to feel. I find I more often then not fight off many emotions. I tell myself, that I'm strong and that I don't need to feel this way. That no matter what's going on it shall be for my good so why should I feel sad, or whatever. Right? I've got faith. I don't need to be feeling anything but hopeful. Right?
Well I no longer think that way. I can still have faith and hope and still feel hard emotions. I no longer think that my feelings have to be justified. They are what they are and I feel them. No one can tell me that I shouldn't feel that way. No one can tell me to move on and get over it. That I'm over reacting. Because, no. This is how I feel. And you know what? Christ felt this way too.
When we chose to get baptized into the LDS church, we promise to "bear one another's burdens. Mourn with those that mourn. Comfort those who stand in need of comfort." Is this not the epitome of what Christ does? Does he not bear our burdens with us? He went through them already for crying out loud. Does he not mourn with us when we mourn? Well I know he does with me. Does he not bring us comfort when we are in need? Well, I know I've felt that way. So to be able to do these things for one another. To be able to bear one another's burdens, mourn with those who are in mourning, comfort those who need it, are we not simply doing as Christ does? Getting to know him and what it's like to be him just a little bit more.
So then why do we hold back? Why do we not let Christ bear our burdens, or mourn with us, or comfort us? Why do we, okay I. This is about me. Why do I feel like I need to do it by myself. That I'm strong enough, that I do not need to lean on others and let others see me fall to pieces. Why do I feel like I should keep in those things that will only provide my with greater opportunities to know my Savior better? Should I not embrace those emotions I feel? Turn them around and ache with Christ over how hard it is. How much I don't like it. How much I no longer want to feel that way. Just like he did in Gethsemane pray for it to end, but accept the will of the Father. THEN receive the comfort of an angel so that he could continue to pray in agony. Is it really any different for me?
I recognize also that I'm denying others the opportunity to fulfill their baptismal covenants by being so prideful. They are not able to experience that side of knowing the Savior. Knowing what it's like to bear someones burden, or comfort someone, or mourn with someone. Who am I to deny them an opportunity to better know their Savior? I feel I've been doing better. I feel I have made strides. But I recognize how far I can go.
There is no doubt in my mind, heart, body, spirit, pinkie toe, that Christ is our Savior. No one else could comfort me through the things I've been comforted through. No one else could ease the burdens that have been placed upon me throughout life. No one else will continue to comfort me as I progress in this life. He is my Savior, and I never want to take that for granted. I want to let him save me. I want to get to know him better. For the better I know him, the easier it will be to be like him. I have no other objective.