Friday, November 11, 2016

Dear you: summer you were 4 years old

Dear You:

Tonight your mother chose to run a few more laps around the neighborhood instead of stop and tuck you in. She probably would have read a story with you or sung "stay awake" from Mary Poppins. But instead, she kept running. You sat on the curb, in your over sized t-shirt, looking up and down the street for her. Hoping that this last lap, would in fact, be her last. But it got too dark to see down the street, and she didn't stop... And she'll do this again.
This will be the beginnings of your rejection issues. This will be something that will become an expected part of your life. You'll come to expect those that love you the most to reject you. You'll learn to deal with rejection. You will appear to not let it bother you. But inside it will bury itself so deeply it will become a part of you.

You beautiful, sweet, loving, little girl, do what you can to not let it become a part of you. Choose to instead believe that your mother in fact deeply loves you and regrets terribly that time she became so selfish. Choose to forgive, and progress in confidence. Not expecting those around you to always push you away. Because, no matter who doesn't reject you or how many plays you get cast in, it won't heal that hurt.

I wish you could know that... But at least, now you do.