Student Teaching

I begin student teaching in 23 days... I wish I could say that I'm completely confident. But to be honest, I'm not. So many people tell me how good I'm going to be. And where that does give me confidence in my abilities there is so much to teaching that at times I think to myself "do I really have what it takes to be really good at this?" Because you know what? I want to be really good at this. I want to become a master teacher one day. I want my class to be a place that students want to come. Now, do I expect them to remember all the things that I teach them? Not quite. But I hope at least to make an environment where they feel safe and welcome and a place that they can succeed. I realize now in my adult life that I've never really pushed myself unless I thought I could succeed. This has led me to miss out on a lot of things. I grew up never really thinking that I was great at school, because turns out I am not good at test taking. And others around me would always point out my inability to spell, when it turns out that those two things don't make up brains. I'm good at others things. But very few classes in school brought that opportunity to see those other intellectual talents.
Okay now I feel as thought I'm writing my Philosophy of Education paper... which I'm sure I'll comment on later. But all in all, I really hope to create a positive classroom. And I'm know I'll be good at caring about my students and I'm pretty creative with my lessons and I can present information really well. It's just a whole lot of other expectations that are placed upon teachers from the school boards, parents, my college for my final thesis/project... just one thing after another. Always something I should be working on. Always something not getting done. Always something due. My poor brain then transplants these stressful expectations into poor health. I don't like it. Not one bit.
(Deep breath!)
Luckily I have people who believe in me. Luckily I'm not alone. But sometimes I just get a bit too nervous about it I don't even want to think about it.

That's all.