Testing. Testing. Is this thing on?

So uh... Hi again. Not sure anyone is out there to listen. But I really suck at blogging right now. You know why? I don't have too many thoughts on my mind these days, and well the thoughts I do have I just share with C.K. And let's be honest... Most of those thoughts I have do in fact have to do with C.K. so... that's the real reason I'm not blogging as much. But... this is what my summer consists of...

Working full time.
Studying history
Spending time with C.K.

That's about it.

I'll touch on each briefly.


Working full time... I now know why I chose to go into secondary education. Children are so bloody annoying. Now, I love kids. I do. They are sweet and say funny things. But you know, 18 5 year old's for 8 hours a day... not so sweet and not so funny. Mainly they just like to complain and tell on each other. You know what I say to them not sharing the ball with you? "Go talk to them about it. Because I really don't want to hear it." Yup, that's what I say. But all in all. It's been a good job for the summer. I enjoy going for the most part. Which is a nice change. And it really does get me excited to teach high school. 


Studying history... I hate the Praxis test... That's all I'll say about that.


And spending time with C.K. We've discovered the power of road trips. We have a lot of fun driving all over this state of ours. (We've covered almost the whole state from North to South C.K.!) And in only less than two months. We've had a fun summer. We're finding that we're running out of time to do all the fun things we think of doing. Luckily the fall is the best time of year, so we'll just do fun things then. 


I know I'm vague about C.K. but turns out that's just how it is. But I will say this. It's been a roller coaster of an adventure(I LOVE roller coasters!) Relationships are delicate but can also be extremely strong at the same time. They take work and effort. Patience and hope. And my goodness do they take faith. You know what C.K. and I were talking about recently? Why don't more people talk about the hard parts of relationships? Why are we so afraid to talk when things are difficult? That's just silly. It's so comforting knowing that things are hard and take work and patience and faith for others too. Because if we just rely on movie's or everyone saying "We're in love! Everything is just so great!" well.... we'd be in for a rude awakening. Because, let's be real people. Everything is not always great. And being in love is an up and down roller coaster. And it takes work, and two people who actually want to be in love with one another. It's not something that develops and then just stays. It really is something that must be cared for, and have time spent on it. At some point you really just need to plant the seed to see if it's good and have hope that as you continue to do all the right things the fruits that are produced will not only continue to be produced but just get better with time. 


Again, a  bit vague on C.K. himself... But trust me. He's pretty cool. I sort of like him. 

Do you ever have those moments....

Do you ever have those moments when you get slapped in the face and realize you are completely clueless?
Do you ever have those moments when everything makes sense?
Do you ever have those moments where you think, "Really? This is the job I wanted for the summer?"
Do you ever have those moments when you think, "Wow. So this is what everyone was talking about?"
Do you ever have those moments when you think "it can't get much better than this?"
Do you ever have those moments when you wander around your kitchen not having any idea what to do with yourself so you just keep wandering?
Do you ever have those moments when you would give anything to be a child again? Where your biggest concern for the day is that someone put their feet in your space at circle time. (Yes! This makes 5 year olds cry.)
Do you ever have those moments when nothing else matters except enjoying the moment?
Do you ever have those moments when your heart longs to say things it doesn't know how to say because it's not been taught how to communicate the things that it is feeling?
Do you ever have those moments when all you want to do is hold on?
Do you ever have those moments when all you want to do is let go?
Do you ever have those moments when nothing makes sense?
Do you ever have those moments when you wish those moments would pass?
Do you ever have those moments of wishing you could be more?

Turns out life's full of them isn't it? Thank goodness they're only moments and always changing. Thankfully one thing remains the same... I'm so grateful for a loving father in heaven. Thank goodness for him, I don't ever have to go through these moments alone.

Oh... I have a blog.

Oh uh... Hi blog.

So... uh... how you been?

Okay I understand you not wanting to say much to me. I get that. I have neglected you quite a bit. But Blog I did just start this new job. I haven't worked full time in over 3 years! Granted being a full time grad student takes more than 40 hours. But remember how I'm working with kids?! Blog I just don't have time during the day like I used to at work.

I know, I know, what you're thinking. What about after work? Well... the thing of it is. I sort of like to see C.K. after work. And on the weekends. So... it's not like I'm going to be spending time with you when I could be hanging out with C.K. Because, let's be real he gives back a whole lot more than you ever have. He's pretty much slipped into the slot of the person I want to see most.

So sorry I've been neglecting you. It's nothing personal. It's just.... well I've got something pretty great going on right now and turns out I think about you less and C.K. a whole lot more.

So... yeah.

Dear Part Time Temporary Job:

Dear Part Time Temporary Job:

Well I just come out with it I guess. I will not miss you at all. Okay so maybe there are a few things I'll miss. For example. Working with my cousin. It's been really fun spending more time with her. Even if our interaction is always just through the inter-office instant messenger you provide. We've had some great times bonding over how much we dislike you. Sorry but it's true.
I'll also miss the funny things that type out during calls. For example, my personal favorite. What I actually said was
"Can you tell me when the appointment is?"
What typed up into the interpreter
"Kitty tummy when the appointment is?"
Bahahah! I laughed quite a bit when that came up.
I will also miss being able to communicate with my friends via the Internet during work. Since I don't get any human interaction while I'm working here it's been nice to have that kind of outlet.
Oh and working with one of my favorite friends from high school. That's been fun too. Oh and the pay was good for a part time job. And it was a good job to do homework while I trudged through grad school. But that's it!

You know what was the hardest part about you Part Time Temporary Job the feeling of being completely replaceable. I really felt as if I was of no worth here. No one even cares if you come into work 4 hours late. 4! FOUR! Really? No one cares? Hmm... that's weird. And then when I call someone for help do they help me? Nope! Just ignore me entirely. And really should it be IMPOSSIBLE to get time off? Don't most jobs allow you to have time off when you have to take a test to get your degree? Or go on vacation for the first time that year? Yes most jobs do. YOU do not! And oh the advice is just to go through the entire list of employees and ask them to take your shift one by one... yeah because we have so much time to do that. NOR do we have access to everyones names! Seriously think these things through.
ALSO a job where everyone just wants to move up because they can't stand what those of us do at the bottom of the totem pole... hmmm something is wrong with this picture. Then the people who move up tend to not think that they have to follow the same rules as us. Aren't they are exemplars? Shouldn't they set a good example of how we should be as employees instead of pushing their privileges to the point of breaking rules? Not okay!
And then after working here for 15 months all I request is to work more for you. Put in more hours during the times when you need people. And to no longer work Saturdays. Because, let's be honest working Saturdays just plain sucks. (I want to play with C.K.!) So I ask for that. More hours and no Saturdays. And what do you give me. 4 more hours a week and still Saturdays from 7:00-noon.... LIVID!
So here we are. I am leaving you. I didn't even give you two weeks notice. Now I'm blacklisted and never able to be hired with your awesome(cough) company again.
I'm heartbroken.(sarcasm)

Thanks for being my source of income when I needed one. But my gosh I'm glad I don't have to grace your awful cubicle and low treatment of me anymore.

Sincerely a completely lacking devotion former employee,
Me.

Mono Memoirs: Day 8(? I think)

Mono Memoirs

I have 'mono'

I shall blog

Day 8(I think)

I'm losing track of time. When it gets to be 8:00pm I get happy because that means that I get to go to bed soon. Want to hear how my past week has been? Okay I'll tell you.

Wake up at 7:30am. Scoff at the clock and go back to sleep until around 9:00 get up and eat breakfast. Check your phone.

Go back to bed because eating breakfast wore you out.

Get up again around noon find something to eat just to keep your strength up. Check your phone. But now that you have energy so time to watch tv or a movie. Scan through tv and movies on cable and realize that there really isn't anything worth the effort of keeping your eyes open for. Check your phone.

Go back to bed and find a movie that you don't mind closing your eyes to, because your worn out with trying to find something worth watching. Check your phone.

Watch a movie. Check your phone. Then turn it off roll over and take another nap. Check your phone. Keeping your eyes open is just too much work. By the time you wake up it's around 6:00 food time again! But first check your phone. Eat and then back to bed. Now maybe you have enough energy to read... That doesn't last long. Back to lying down after you check your phone. finally it gets to be 8:30, it's still light outside but you think oh well nothing else to do. So you check your phone one more time then go to sleep for the night.

Then it starts all over again.

Fun right?!

I did have some visits yesterday which were rejuvenating. Here's to another day of healing! It makes it all worth it each morning I wake up feeling a little bit better.

Mono Memoirs: Day 5

Mono Memoirs

I have 'mono'

I shall blog

Day 5

Tips on what to do when you have mono.

I am an expert at this point. So I shall share some tips with you. 

1. Eat only soft foods. Turns out your throat is in tremendous amounts of pain and anything, I mean anything going down just kills.

2. Don't go far from your bed or a place to lie down. Turns out that just walking up some stairs wears you out.

3. Get some new movies before you've contracted the aforementioned virus. If you're like me you wont want to watch the ones you have. 

4. Don't watch movies with cute kissing scenes in them. Kissing is off limits when you have mono!

5. Text people and tell them you are sick. Then you'll have friends to keep you entertained through the all hours of the day... Well only partly entertained. Turns out that not everyone has as much time to kill as you do.

6. Be sure you have another job lined up before you just stop going to your current job... Who knows if you'll really go back at all at this point.

And last but not least

7. Schedule your infection with mono to come at just the right time. When you aren't starting a new job, when you're not fully immersed in grad school full time, when you're not in Disneyland, and when it's not your birthday. Turns out to be good timing. 

p.s. turns out for me mono isn't turning out to be that bad. Each day it gets a bit better. I am taking pretty dang good care of myself. But all in all it's not too bad... just a bit boring.